Uncompleted Journey

Friday, February 29, 2008

9 years of interest. It shall end all by this year...

I was sitting in the studio during yesterday's lesson. 1 hour of sitting there and doing my theory. It's a torture. My parents are like paying her fees to see me draw beansprouts and write ABC. I dunno what's happening to me. I've never felt this way when I was previously learning in Kawai. I think the teacher played a part...

Teacher: This one wrong.
Me: ...
Teacher: This one also wrong.
Me: ... ...
Teacher: Aiyo, this one also wrong.
Me: ... ... ...

What's her problem? I know it's wrong MYSELF. I dun need you to tell me what's right and wrong. I know how to differentiate them. I'm not so idiotic to write a wrong answer purposely, if I knew the right one. Can't you just tell me the correct answer? You have to say it in the end anyway. I'm no stupid fool to let you earn easy money. I've now learnt to give her a very blur look and stare at the question... until she decides to tell me the answer.

8 years back, I was all the while learning Trinity syllabus. There are always things that are not yet learnt in Trinity. Similarly, there are things that were already taught in Trinity, but not in ABRSM. You can't expect me to know everything that an ABRSM student should.

I dun understand why. But my current teacher just made me lose interest in having piano lessons. Not so much till disliking playing piano though. Just enough to dislike having lessons and piano theory. It's already my biggest regret to start learning piano late. It's definite that I'll have an uncomplete journey. I have no one to blame. Many of you will not understand how I'm feeling, maybe not even those who've learnt before, unless you are ME.

If only my previous teacher can teach me again...

But I'm not going to think so much again. I think I'm gonna stop my lessons and learn on my own after my practical exam in July. I think my parents have already spent more than $30,000 in nurturing this interest of mine. They could have been richer, if not for my school fees, exam fees, books and 3 pianos.

My mum told me to make my own decision. She knows I learn piano for interest, not because I wanna teach piano in the future. C'mon, I already feel like banging on the piano when the student next door had to practise scales for 1 whole hour. It's serious noise pollution... at least to my ears. How am I cut out to be a teacher?! What if I strangle my student after hearing too many times of scales?! Kidding lahs.

This entry will keep reminding me to perserve till July. Hopefully, I can make good my promise.

***

When I was on the way home after lesson, I overheard a secondary student saying...

Actually, I dun like to say vulgarities. I only say it when it's important.
I thought it's a kind of ad-lib thing? Like you suddenly say it when you are very angry and you regretted (maybe a bit) after that?

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