4 May 2007 to 4 February 2013.
5 years and 9 months old.
8 plus in the cruel morning. 
You left me in pain and unwillingness.

I cried so much for you and you hanged on so much for me. You were totally weak yesterday afternoon. Yesterday wasn't the first time your leg bled but it was definitely the worst. I knew you were going to leave me somehow.

I didn't want to see you in pain so I kept telling you to go. But you were so naughty. The more I said, the more you fought on to live. You were initially lying down but you could walk after a few hours. I'm so proud of you.

I kept thinking about what time should I bring you the vet, and what the vet will ask me to do. I want to get myself prepared so that I can take care of you even better. But this day will never come. To be honest, I didn't want the day to come. I hate seeing you in pain. I know you don't like the vet and medicine too.

You never liked it when other people carry or pet you but you love mine at any time of the day. You know I'm your mum, don't you?

Rest in peace, my beloved XiaoBai. I love you so much dear. Don't be afraid and don't feel lonely, you just went to a nice place called heaven. Reincarnate and come back to my side.

Some friends and lovers dun even last that long. But you did. You were always there when I needed you and I'm glad I was there for you too.

Thank you for choosing to leave when I'm by your side. Your last groan and strong will to live will always be remembered. 

Your new pack of food is still there. Your fresh veggies are still there. Your cage is still there. Your dedicated corner is still there. But you are not there. Not even physically because we just buried you.

The last time I carried you was to put you into the box. I hate this feeling.

Omg what should I do. I keep thinking of you.